me: come visit me already!

her: i want to.

me: these boners aren’t going to sit on themselves, you know.

her: yeah thats impossible! i think that means that I would have to sit on them.

me: well, i would help,  but a girl can only sit on so many boners at one time….like, 2.

her: DP

me: yup. the ol’ chinese boner trap

her: can you help me think of crude female versions of the ‘bros before hos’ phrase?

me: ugh. the only thing i can think of is ‘sisters before misters,’ and that is dumb as fuck.  if only there were more words that rhymed with ‘snatch.’

her: haha, the only one i could think of is ‘chicks before dicks,’  but sisters before misters is way funnier

me: haha, ‘gashes before mustaches.’

her: hahaha  i like that one.

me: slits before twits

her: when i’m bored i also like to think of different ways to describe female masturbation. b/c there is not as many for chicks as there is for dudes.  ’double clicking the mouse.’  ’flipping the bean.’

me: hahaha  playing dj

her: haha  petting the cat

me: p.s. it’s ‘flicking the bean.’ not ‘flipping.’  that sounds like someone cut you off in traffic. “that asshole! i’m going to flip him the bean!……DAMN THIS BELT!!!”

her: haha, thats what will calls it most frequently.

me: haha  i thought of another one:  box before cocks.

her: HA!  I LOVE THAT ONE.

me: i think i’ve found my calling.

her: i think you have too  hmm… i need to think of more. i’m thinking so hard right now…

me: don’t pull anything now. okay. start naming every euphemism for female genetalia you can think of.  don’t neglect the boobs.

her: boobies, tits, tats, jugs, vagina, vag, va-jay, pussy, box, hatchet wound—haha—funbags, knockers, rack, titties, tatas, snatch, labia, clitoris, clits, cooch, beaver, slit, poon, poontang, cooter

me: cuts before nuts

her: haha

me: tangs before wangs

her: thats good  but  not as many people call it tangs.  poontangs  before wangs.

me: fine.