me: i am getting drunk on smirnoff ice and watching benny and joon.  what are you doing?

her: i’m getting ready to go to some party

her: they made the theme: [me] fest 2009: [name] gets laid

me:yessss!

her: yeah right we’ll see

me: i really hope you get your vagina filled tonight, ____.

her: god  i hope so too

me: …and not with a fork.

her: i bet A a kebab that i wouldn’t see anyone i found sexually attractive at this party

me: i know 14 beers that might disagree.

her: hahaha  yeah, i know three and a shot of whiskey

me: i know 2 wine coolers and a jelly jar of moonshine

her: hahaha, i know a jello shot and a 40 of old e

me: hahahahaha,  jello.

her: i need to wear something real sexy tonight

me: wear a sequined bra and some high-waisted jeans.